i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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