Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
