If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
