I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize