I need help removing her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize