so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
