Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
