I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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