When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
