My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
