So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
