I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
