Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
