McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
