u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
