Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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