im about as happy as oj after his trial
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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