break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
