Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
