So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
