maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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