Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
