Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
this is an emotional support booty call
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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