Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
