she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
