dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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