So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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