just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's get the cat blown out
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize