He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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