Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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