you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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