I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
