he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
