we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
