I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
