also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize