He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
