the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
