Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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