i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
