How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
