Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
