yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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