Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
