What did we do last night that was yellow?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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