im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize