He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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