Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She's the barista slut.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
