That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
