I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
