with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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