Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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