I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
