Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
