Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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