I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
