No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
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we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.