end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sex on roller skates
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......