I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.