i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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