I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
