so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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