Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
