Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
