im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize