So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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