I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
