I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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